First Month of College 

So orientation was amazing! I made some videos about it on my channel. I had so much fun. I went to everything that I possibly could and spoke up when I could do it confidently, which wasn’t always. But a lot more then most of my first meetings with strangers.

I even made records on my step goals. Went from an average of 5,000 to 20,000 in a few days. Having my shoe insert for my shorter leg really helped with the pain I usually feel from walking too fast and too long. Still fiddling with it to find the right height (still have 2 or 3 more inserts to go!), but it’s better than enduring and potentially hurting my hips and knees.

So my suitemates are awesome! My roommate is awesome! I just need to get used to expressing myself to them. They still think I’m pretty quiet. I am, but I’m also not. So that’s a hurdle. I’m not feeling the best but I’m actually going to the counseling center to try out counseling. I feel that maybe talking to someone who does this as a profession will help me get over these feelings. I even told my mom and my best friend. I keep saying I am depressed, but I don’t really know what it is. Hopefully, this session will iron some wrinkles I have about these feelings.

I’ve been keeping up with my YT schedule for the most part. Unfortunately, it’s been mostly vlogs. Not that is bad necessarily, but that’s not what my channel is about. I actually have planned my first official video a few days after this post goes up. It’ll be my first planned video here, so yeah.

Still have to make my shobby mess of a resume to apply to jobs on campus. I doubt anyone will hire me, but there’s no point in predicting if I haven’t even tossed a line out yet.

I’m doing okay with my classes. First exam is the day before this post. Definitely going to do my best to prepare. Even went to my professor’s office hours!

First exam (Biology for Majors) is on Friday. Slightly nervous. But after meeting with someone in Academic Services and talking about it, I feel better. Going to do some refreshing, laundry, and a practice test.

Good luck to everyone! Cheers and fancy!

July 22nd

All is somewhat right with the world. I’ve mostly paid for my school year. I am slowly getting the things for living the “suite” life! 

See what I did there? 😉

So I’m living in a suite with 7 other people. My roommate sounds like a pretty nice person from what I saw in her email and hopefully it goes well. 

My weight loss hasn’t been going so well. I pretty much completely neglected it after getting a bit cocky from my NYC trip. So today is day 1 again. Going to skip this week’s update video because of this. But I won’t anymore. That’s unfair to the few people that actually watch that video every month. So yeah. Plus I kinda lost the motivation to keep up with the reddit challenge. 

So why am I starting over again for the nth time?

It’s because I went wedding dress shopping. NOT FOR ME! For my sister. We have a similar shape, so I was being used as the model. As they put the gown on me, I felt sick and just depressed. Not because I was trying on a dress when it wasn’t my turn. It was because I saw what I looked like in a dress that I could only dream of wearing. I saw myself and thought that the dress, veil, and everything looked amazing. But I hated how I looked in it so much. More then I’ve ever felt. 

And it hit me. 

I did this to myself. I ate too much. I became lazy. I ignored the signs. 

I want to change.

But wanting isn’t enough. I have to do something. So I am.

I had lunch today. Some pilaf with sesame seeds and green onions. Came out as 1,186 cals with a macro split of 64% Carbs, 27% Fat, and 9% Protein. Need to get more protein but a few days under doesn’t hurt.

Going to get a slurpee to end my eating for today and make a bodyweight plan to do when I have nothing to do.

I ended the day with 1,367 cals, 4,432 steps, and a plan.