July 22nd

All is somewhat right with the world. I’ve mostly paid for my school year. I am slowly getting the things for living the “suite” life! 

See what I did there? šŸ˜‰

So I’m living in a suite with 7 other people. My roommate sounds like a pretty nice person from what I saw in her email and hopefully it goes well. 

My weight loss hasn’t been going so well. I pretty much completely neglected it after getting a bit cocky from my NYC trip. So today is day 1 again. Going to skip this week’s update video because of this. But I won’t anymore. That’s unfair to the few people that actually watch that video every month. So yeah. Plus I kinda lost the motivation to keep up with the reddit challenge. 

So why am I starting over again for the nth time?

It’s because I went wedding dress shopping. NOT FOR ME! For my sister. We have a similar shape, so I was being used as the model. As they put the gown on me, I felt sick and just depressed. Not because I was trying on a dress when it wasn’t my turn. It was because I saw what I looked like in a dress that I could only dream of wearing. I saw myself and thought that the dress, veil, and everything looked amazing. But I hated how I looked in it so much. More then I’ve ever felt. 

And it hit me. 

I did this to myself. I ate too much. I became lazy. I ignored the signs. 

I want to change.

But wanting isn’t enough. I have to do something. So I am.

I had lunch today. Some pilaf with sesame seeds and green onions. Came out as 1,186 cals with a macro split of 64% Carbs, 27% Fat, and 9% Protein. Need to get more protein but a few days under doesn’t hurt.

Going to get a slurpee to end my eating for today and make a bodyweight plan to do when I have nothing to do.

I ended the day with 1,367 cals, 4,432 steps, and a plan.